Asexual relationship or asexuality is a type of relationship that doesn’t involve any sexual desire or sexual activities.
Also known as ace, asexuality is also regarded as a form of sexual orientation in which there is no sexual interest at all for other people across different gender identities.
But even if they don’t feel any form of attraction to other genders, it is still possible for asexual individuals to engage in purely romantic relationships. Affection is often expressed by doing fun activities together and hugging each other.
What is Asexuality?
Asexuality is the umbrella term that refers to the sexual orientation spectrum that is unified by the absence of experiencing any sexual attraction to other people.
Different from celibacy, or the choice to completely abstain from sexual activities, asexuality is more intrinsic just like other sexual orientations. The absence of sexual attraction doesn’t always automatically mean that a person doesn’t experience or feel other kinds of attraction such as aesthetic, sensual, or romantic.
Similar to other identities, how asexuality is manifested may differ from one person to another. Some asexual people also continue enjoying the act of sex, but some may find sex repulsive. In addition, asexuality might also be coupled with other types of romantic attractions although it might not always be the case.
Asexuality is totally valid sexuality and shouldn’t be confused with any fundamental or dysfunction lacking. Considering the fact that some asexual people may still feel romantically attracted to others, there is also the possibility that not all people to whom they feel romantic attraction is going to be asexual as well.
This particular difference in terms of sexual orientation may potentially cause some issues in the relationship if it is not intentionally and explicitly addressed.
How to Have a Fulfilling and Happy Asexual Relationship
Similar to how the LGBTQ+ community entails an extensive variety of sexualities and identities, asexuality hosts a wide spectrum of non-sexual sexualities as well.
The truth is that asexuality may have a different meaning for every person. Asexuality, for example, is not really a choice and instead, it is a part of the identity or nature of a person.
As mentioned earlier, some asexual people may also like sex but may not have the ability to be sexually attracted to others. Some also agree to friends with benefits set up to a certain extent.
With sexual attraction being the center of asexuality, asexual people may still engage in sexual activities without feeling any sexual attraction to the person.
Below are some helpful tips on how to have a healthy and happy asexual relationship:
Brainstorm Out of the Box Solutions
Consider options such as ethical non-monogamy, nurturing other forms of intimacy, and scheduled sex to ensure frequency, whether one or both partners is not open to engaging in sexual activities.
Consider Getting a Couple Counselling
Relationship specialists and experts know and understand all sexual preferences, gender orientations, and forms of relationships that exist these days.
If you think that you and your partner can use some professional help so that you can understand each other and manage your relationship better, it might be a wise decision to go for a couple counseling.
These counseling sessions may be able to help you identify the best solutions for any concerns you may have so that you can achieve a happier and healthier relationship.
Assess Tangible Sexual Needs
Before you try to figure out ways to ensure that both of your needs will be met and fulfilled, you have to know what these needs are in the first place. Once again, remember that sexual preferences may differ from one asexual person to another. Always look for ways to communicate and discover each of your needs to be sure that both will be happy with the setup.
Understand Each Other’s Asexuality
Always be honest and open with your partner and make sure both of you take time to understand each other’s asexuality. You can try to explain your asexuality depending on your personal understanding of it or you can also refer to online resources for better understanding.
Discuss Intimacy
For non-asexual people, there is often the misconception that sex is critical for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. But if you are two asexual people who are in a relationship, you probably know and agree that this is not always the case and that other forms of intimacy are also equally enjoyable.
But again, since your views may still be different when it comes to sex, you might want to discuss intimacy and how you want it to be shared between you two. If your partner enjoys sex just fine despite being asexual but you think otherwise, you can talk about how to share intimacy with no need to engage in sexual activities.
Just be sure that you don’t allow this idea to put huge pressure on your shoulder. Take note that you don’t have to validate any aspect of your identity to other people provided that you are sure about yourself.
The Bottom Line
Remember that just like other types of relationships, the relationship between two asexual people can also be very tricky and challenging to navigate. There will always be ups and downs along the way, together with some misunderstandings, especially since you are two different people who may have completely different forms of asexuality.
While you can always try to figure things out on your, there is also nothing wrong if you seek help from professionals and ask for their advice on how to make your relationship work. Sometimes, a third party or an outside can facilitate a more effective and productive conversation that might be a great jumpstart to help you and your partner address any challenge that comes your way.
At the end of the day, asexual relationships are no different from any other kind of relationship. As long as both of you commit to it, you can be on your way to a healthier and happier connection that doesn’t require anything beyond what you can and are willing to offer.